Blog Post-Mean Girl Ministry

The Hard Truth: Hurt People Hurt People

Behind every “mean girl” moment is a heart that’s carrying something.

Sometimes it’s insecurity.
Sometimes it’s comparison.
Sometimes it's unhealed church hurt.
Sometimes it’s a fear of losing position, influence, or attention.

But meanness is almost always a product of brokenness.

Even in ministry, titles don’t heal hearts — Jesus does.

How to Respond When You Encounter “Mean Girl” Ministry Culture

1. Guard Your Heart Without Hardening It

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to protect our hearts, not close them off.
You can set boundaries and still walk in love.

2. Don’t Match the Energy — Match God’s

You don’t have to clap back.
You don’t have to prove yourself.
You don’t have to fight for what God has already given you.

Let your character speak.

3. Bring It to the Light

Sometimes the bravest thing you can say is:
“Hey, that hurt me.”
Not in a confrontational way, but in a biblical one.

Matthew 18 calls us to have hard conversations — because healing can’t happen in silence.

4. Remember Who Called You

People don't decide your calling.
People don’t control your anointing.
People don’t get to derail what God set in motion.

If God placed you in ministry, He will protect your purpose in ministry.

5. Be the Woman You Needed

Don’t let the culture change you — let it refine you.

If you’ve ever been the girl left out, talked about, or dismissed…
you are uniquely equipped to be a safe place for other women.

Break the cycle. Model what Christlike leadership looks like.

Imagine a ministry culture where:

Women cheer loudly.
Celebrate boldly.
Pray together.
Grow together.
Lead together.
Heal together.

That culture is possible — and it starts with us. Here is your encouragement:

If you’ve been hurt by women in ministry, your story isn’t over.
God sees you.
God heals you.
And God still has a place for you.

You can remain kind without becoming a doormat.
You can stay gentle without staying silent.
You can be strong without becoming hardened.

And you can be the woman who shifts the culture — simply by refusing to imitate what wounded you.

~XoXo Mai